Redmanisms

I've got to write some of these down, they are just too funny....

Scene—driving to daycare

Redman: Hey, look at the car over there, Mom

Me: Oh...yeah, that's a blue car

Redman (with disgust): No, it's a Honda...


Scene—breakfast, talking about Lindsey coming to sleep over and there will be pizza and root beer floats

Redman: Oh yeah, root beer, I love root beer, you don't love root beer, Dad, do you, no, you don't because it has too much sugar, right, but I love root beer, I love root beer more than I love chocolate malted milkshakes that Nino makes... (Sometimes he has these stream of consciousness monologues)


Scene—driving to daycare, I have forgotten to bring my Ipod so he is bereft of his Backyardigan songs

Redman: But I WANT them

Me: I'm sorry, honey, I don't have my Ipod

Redman: I WANT THEM (clenching fists, kicking the back of my seat) Me: I know you want them but I'm sorry, I don't have them

Redman: Sorry is for bad things!

Me: What?

Redman: "I'm sorry" is for bad things like punching people! When I ask for music you say YES!


Scene—long time ago, dinner table, among other things we are having mixed veg and biscuits for dinner. Redman is listing and demonstrating all his good behavior skills.

Redman: ...and then I sit at the table. And then I eat my vegetables (eats spoonful of veg). And then I eat my...(has biscuit in his hand but clearly does not know what it is called)...I eat my crunch.

Since then, from time to time, you'll hear one of us sing-songing "...And then I eat my VEG-tables....and then I eat my CRUNCH...."